Lately all I feel is...

As I stood there, endless tears running down my cheeks
I could see now, why I was so afraid to stand up for myself
As am holding on to my last shred of pride,
I could see you standing there, on the other bank
We could go back and forth a thousand times,
but lately all I feel is that, nothing I ever do is enough.

They paint a picture they want,
and I can see them try and care for me,
but all they do is tear me apart
and you ask me to let my guard down
Trust me, I want to believe..
But lately all I remember are those times, when I'm let down..

They say I've changed a lot,
oh boy, don't I know that..
Now you try and stand by me,
and I know it's hurting you like it's hurting me..
oh, I wanna fight them and make you proud
But lately all I wanna do is run away, and never look back..

Too many sides to pick,
in a war I don't want to be a part of..
and this story keeps running at a blinding pace,
as I stand back and watch people say how my life ought to be
I'd tell you what I want, only if I knew how to..
But lately I don't even know what I should want..