Do you!?

Do you see me baby?
Standing here.. on my knees.
Do you remember baby?
All those empty promises...

Oh how I thought you are my gravity..
Now I see myself drifting away.
So crucify me for every screwup of mine..
It's not gonna hurt me more..
Than any of your stories

Oh now you come around and say..
That I meant something special,
Oh baby trust me.. I wanna believe too.
But you aren't good at lyin,  like me..
I could see through them..

Oh you pushed me so far away..
Even when I tried to stand by your side..

So blame me now.. for drifting away..
And crucify me for.. every screwup of mine..
It's not gonna hurt me more..
Than any of your stories

Never knew that...

Now that it started to look like,
I had it all together,
trust me to go ahead and ruin it
in the blink of an eye!
Never knew that... I could never my find home,
even after sailing through all those stormy seas

Now that it started to look like,
I've reached a shore...
wait 'til it turns into a barren land,
the minute I take a step.
What do I do now?
whom do I wait for now?
Never knew that... I would end up stranded, far away from home,
even after sailing through all these stormy seas!

Unbroken

Living with the silence,
uninterrupted by your laughter,
tears are my only solace
as I spend this lifetime waiting
for all those dreams to come true!

But the taxi cabs never bring you home,
and the letters never got a reply,
this phone never brings me back your voice,
and these empty roads, always lead me to your memories.

Now that every second wears on,
like a lifetime, I lay back wondering,
if I can ever love me the way I loved you!





A/n: Inspired by fictional stories and my favorite lyrics

Simulacrum

Thought I ran past that raging fire,
slaying all those dragons!
But then came a gentle breeze
and here I am, tumbling down like a house of cards.
They say, i'm gonna be okay
but I know it's just an empty promise.

Sleepless nights, and gruesome days,
slowly wear down this icy demeanor,
and I see myself going round 'n round.
Breaking down, and standing tall, over and again..
as I try and fail, to win over myself,
with a mirthless chuckle, I start the charade all over again!


A/n : Simulacrum, usually means representation or imitation of something. Though the word took it's origin in late 16th century as imitating art, it later found associations with inferiority. Isn't that how one feel sometimes, starting as something pure, but as time goes on, it feel like they're imitating themselves, an inferior version to be more precise! 
Though this is gloomy, and sometimes we have to keep up with the charade, I guess what's important is going forward, even when you know you'll probably go in circles, or that you'd break down and might have to just get up, brush that dirt off and keep moving again. 

Lately all I feel is...

As I stood there, endless tears running down my cheeks
I could see now, why I was so afraid to stand up for myself
As am holding on to my last shred of pride,
I could see you standing there, on the other bank
We could go back and forth a thousand times,
but lately all I feel is that, nothing I ever do is enough.

They paint a picture they want,
and I can see them try and care for me,
but all they do is tear me apart
and you ask me to let my guard down
Trust me, I want to believe..
But lately all I remember are those times, when I'm let down..

They say I've changed a lot,
oh boy, don't I know that..
Now you try and stand by me,
and I know it's hurting you like it's hurting me..
oh, I wanna fight them and make you proud
But lately all I wanna do is run away, and never look back..

Too many sides to pick,
in a war I don't want to be a part of..
and this story keeps running at a blinding pace,
as I stand back and watch people say how my life ought to be
I'd tell you what I want, only if I knew how to..
But lately I don't even know what I should want..

Catch me when I fall

There were times,
when you're my whole world,
and I lost the track of time,
looking into your eyes.

There were times,
when you were the only one, 
who could make me laugh and cry,
just with your words.

There were times,
when crying myself to sleep
is the only way I survived
'til I learnt how to forget everything.

There were times,
when I hid even from me,
'cos that's only way to live
after I knew how much I hurt you

But now that I sit here, and close my eyes.. 
I feel like am in all those times and none, all at once...

They say, 
there comes an exception, to your every rule,
but with you around, there were never any
and that scared me for the longest time
'til I learnt that you'll be there
to catch me when I fall, no matter what.. 

Here I am now.

I sat there, silently

thinking that I got it all wrong,

or so you made me think.

But I sat there, silently

trying to live my life

'till you made sure

I couldn't live with myself anymore. 

So I ran, far enough to see,

why I ever needed to..

and I kept wondering if I should reach back,

'till I saw you standing

knocking me down like a house of cards

And here I sit now, 

defeated and wounded, 

unsure to run or to sit there,silently.

A/n: I spent almost an entire day trying to find a way to end it on an optimistic note or at least, a gloomy one. But, all I feel is uncertainity. So, I decided to stick with the feeling that made me pen this down. I guess, life has moments when you can't have a closure or moments when you are unsure about a lot of things.